And is it going to be personal? (Not that much going on there). Or is it going to be only about my art? (Not that much going on there either;-)).
This have been a really hard year, and I´ve discussed with myself about how much to write about it on the internet and what is too private.
Anyway, here it comes:
I have a little child in my life whom I´ve been concerned about. And this year have been fantastic in the way that now he lives in a fosterfamily, he´s happy and finally allowed to be just a little kid playing...
So things ended up in a good way and it´s a big relief. But my life have been turning a bit around because of this, and every time I think things are starting to settle down, whoops: it all turns around again and I can start all over getting adjusted.
Then I had this herniated disc and have been going throught a lot of pain, not to talk about the fear of a planned operation. Luckily my operation was cancelled, also thanks to my physiotherapist (which almost makes me forgive him for suggesting to film me doing excersice and putting it on Youtube...).
And then I had this fall which seemed to be all about rejection: refusal on 3 grant applications, and yes, the rejection from Statens Kunstråds Internationale Billedkunstudvalg was just a little hard. And it was hard to give up my plans for going to Pool Art Fair in Miami, where I participate with TAKE CARE, but I simply didn´t have the money. So my art will be there, but I won´t.
Then I got rejected at Kunstnernes Efterårsudstilling, and when I finally put myself together and applied for exhibits at 2 cafes here in Copenhagen, I got rejected there too. One of them was so kind to tell me that it was because "your art is too feminine and would make the cafe look girlish", so then I could think a little about that:-0
There have been good things too. One of them is music. I love music, everythings is easier when you can put on some music that fits your mood, and it makes hard times a little less hard.
One of the bands I like a lot is CODY. To be honest I started out with being a little bit in love with their guitarplayer David Fjelstrup (but since I´m not Demi Moore, I didn´t persue that).... but then the music really grew on me, and both their ep and the cd Songs have been on repeat on my mp3 player most of this year. And I´ve showed up at all the concert that I could possibly make it to. And I yet have to experience them doing at bad concert, that has simply not happened yet.
They gave a concert last saturday not far from where I live. I bought the ticket in september or something like that, and when saturday turned up I was soooo tired and feeling very fragile. But missing out on a CODYconcert is simply not possible, so I dragged myself out there by the hair. Alone of course, since I´m a old woman and all my friends only likes music that was popular in the 80ties....
And then in the middle of the concert Kaspar dedicated a song to me for showing up at all their concerts! I haven´t been so pleasantly surprised since.... well, I don´t know when. What a fantastic and thoughtful thing to do, and I didn´t suspect it at all, but it made me so happy!
This was so nice. And what a nice thing to discover: something good might come to you in a time when you don´t expect it. And you´ll never know. You´ll be feeling down and lousy and everything sucks, and tomorrow is going to be hard and next week is too, but something unexpected amazing could happen just in the middle of all this misery.
THAT is the best lesson I´ve learned for a very long time:-) So thank you Kaspar, that made a big difference!
This is the little boy in my life, I´m going to see him tomorrow:
